Here is the facebook link where this is located so you can see the comments if you would like. http://tinyurl.com/br5jh9h
People talk about transgender men and women and say things like, "If you want to do that fine. But keep that sick shit in the bedroom. Don't drag your perversions out in the open, because we don't want to see it!"
So, to all you people out there that consider transgender people to be sick perverts, I have a news flash for you. Most people's lives really do not revolve around sex. I know that is a hard concept for some people to get into their heads, but it is true. Gender non-conformity is about gender. Period. That is all that it is. Now, I will be the first to admit that there are some people that do get sexual kicks out of dressing as the opposite sex. But there are also people that get sexual kicks out of guns and knives. Are we going to assume now that every gun owner in the country is a pervert that needs to keep his gun ownership to himself? Or course not. There are people that have extremely erotic encounters with food. Should we close down all restaurants because eating is a sexual perversion that needs to be "kept in the bedroom?" Again, of course not.
I am transgender because my gender does not match my biological sex. I wear women's clothes because I am a woman. I am not a man in women's clothing. I do not wear women's clothing just because I like to wear women's clothing. I wear women's clothing because, just like most women, I want to feel pretty. I want to be stylish. I wear women's clothing because for the first time in my life I am truly happy and I feel like I fit in.
So, I beg of you, please get your collective minds out of the bedroom. When you assume it is all about sex, it actually kind of makes you look like a pervert. If you see someone dressed like a man, assume that person is a man. If you see someone dressed as a woman, assume that person is a woman. If you see two people holding hands, assume they are either in love or very good friends, even if they are the same sex. If you see two people of the same sex sharing a kiss, be happy for them. It's hard to find true happiness in this world and you should never try to squash it when you see it. Let those people live happy lives, then go on and live your own happy life.
It's not that hard really, being happy. And you can start simply by letting other people be...
Finally someone who can explain it perfectly. Thank you this is wonderful.
ReplyDelete"When you see someone dressed as a man, assume they are a man." Gender expression does not always match gender identity. Jussayin'. I otherwise really enjoy this article.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words, Amy. Anonymous, you are correct. Expression does not always match identity. But generally speaking if someone is obviously dressed as a woman it is appropriate to use female pronouns.
ReplyDeleteSomehow I don't think that when I (a woman) shop for boxers, people assume it's about sex, so that's a double standard when it comes to men buying women's panties...and even if it is a sexual thing, I also don't care. People dress sexily for a sexual thing, and they're allowed to do it in public.
ReplyDeletei know of someone who has recently "come out" as M2F transgender, and is now taking the first steps towards surgery etc. My older sister is post-op M2F transgender. I am slightly concerned that my acquaintance is confsed regarding sexuality and gender as has recently posted what i would term rather explicit phots on fb as themselves dressed in female bondage underwear, posing rather raunchily on bed with accompanying comments about being bound and gagged and desiring certain sex acts... From my experience with my sister, this "woman" appears to be acting out a rather naughty sexual fantasy rather than being gender-misaligned. I was always led to believe it wasnt about sex, as gender and sex are different issues.... surely this is more a cross-dressing fetish?
ReplyDeletePossibly. You are correct in that gender and sex are two different issues. However, many people do blur the lines between the two. Just from your description I would guess this individual is very much into a BDSM type of sexual activity. Many people that are in to the BDSM scene enjoy posting rather explicit images of themselves in somewhat erotic situations. Especially if that person has a Dom that requests or requires them to do so.
ReplyDeleteThat does not mean that they aren't transgender. They are simply posting photographs of what they enjoy dressed as who they are. My guess would be that your acquaintance is most likely transgender if that is how she identifies herself. She also seems to be very open about her sexuality. If you are concerned, you might express those concerns to her. But if she assures you that her style of dress is because of her gender identity as apposed to a sexual fetish, then I recommend taking her word for it. :-)