Ask a Trans

Learning about the life of someone that is transgender can be next to impossible. It has become politically incorrect to make any indication whatsoever that the individual you are talking to has ever presented as any gender other than what they are at that moment. It is considered rude to ask them anything about the pre-transition life or anything that they went through or are going through during transition. There is a problem with this. Most people are not trying to be rude when they ask these questions. They genuinely want to know, they want to get to know the person and they may be exploring their own gender identity and have no one to turn to for answers.

I understand why people don't want to talk about it, however. Someone that is transitioning from one gender to another normally wants to put their former life behind them. They don't want to be reminded of a life that was so wrong and painful for them. Because, quite frankly, being forced to live the lie of gender conformity is very painful. The reality of their existence and identity is right now. It isn't the past. And the future is determined by ever moment of the present. So if someone gets upset when you ask them questions, please understand what they are going through. They likely aren't angry with you, they are angry at a world that has forced them to live a painful life. And don't think that pain ended with transition. The world does not suddenly become a wonderful paradise. It is still filled with hateful people that will do anything to hurt people like us; both emotionally and physically. So, if your best friend suddenly starts living life as a different person, be nice to them, be there for them and understand if they get defensive when asked questions. They need your friendship now more than ever before.

I, however, am a bird of a different feather. I want to share my experiences. That is why I have created this blog. I want to answer people's questions. You can ask me anything and I will answer as best as I can. But consider this; if you are deliberately rude or downright hateful, I will call you out on it and I might not be so nice.

So, let the questions begin.

Lilly Allison